Coping with Grief? Feeling down and not able to lift your spirits? Fed up?
I know what grief feels like too.
June 2018 we had a death in the family. We were all shocked and sad. Grief hit us all in different ways and as a family, we had to respect each of our emotions as they went up and down.
I set about the task of organising the funeral and immediately went into Action mode. I was extremely busy and had little time to process what had actually happened.
I booked a massage for myself and I know that I slept better that night. I also felt exhausted and weighed down with it all. I snapped at the family and nothing really seemed important.
We are all going to suffer from bereavement and grief at some stage in our life. It is a perfectly natural reaction to the loss of someone or something. The feelings of grief can also be caused by changes in our life, divorce, moving or changing jobs.
Grief can affect us in different ways.
We all deal with grief in a wide variety of ways involving the four (4) dimensions of our lives:
My mother-in-law died in 2013 and the pain and raw emotions were very real. I knew so much more about massage and how it could help with grief. I booked myself a weekly massage, I canceled all of my clients here in the salon and I let myself have time to grieve. I used mindfulness to focus on the goodness of life and I cried alot.
Back in 1991, I did not understand how massage worked when my stepfather died after a long illness. His death changed me in subtle ways that I did not recognize at the time. The experience of bereavement and loss planted roots in my lifelong interest of complementary medicine.
The suffering that he endured and the stress that we, his family and friends experienced, further opened up the desire to help others that suffer.
- Even though we all experience grief in our own unique way, we do typically go through some or all of the following emotions.
- Guilt– for the things you did or didn’t say or do
- A deep sadness – often feeling “dead” inside
- Shock and disbelief – why me?
- Fear of the future – how will I continue?
- Anger against the circumstance or the people that took your loved one away from you.
- A physical response – Bereavement, and grief can actually result in physical ailments and emotional dysfunction. You could lose or gain weight; feel continually sick; come down with infections because your immune system is suffering; be continually exhausted and it’s not uncommon to suffer from insomnia and aches and pains when you very rarely did before the event.
Massage is a powerful healing therapy. It may remove stress and create harmony between your body, mind and soul. Massage is known to aid healing with the power of touch.
Massage has many benefits both physically and mentally for you.
Here are 6 ways that massage could help you cope with your grief:-
1. Massage may have a calming and balancing effect on your nervous system.
2. Massage may improve your overall sense of well-being and energy levels
3. Massage may bring relief from your headaches caused by tension in your neck.
4. Massage will improve your circulation and breathing. (It has science behind it now).
5. Massage can assist in alleviating the physical and emotional stress stored in your body.
6. Massage increases your lymphatic drainage system which gets rid of toxins, and this will revitalize your blood flow.
And BONUS Benefit
7. Massage mentally allows you to totally ‘switch-off’ giving you time to bring new thoughts into your mind. To process the busy mind and allow the mind to wander.
Massage activate the touch receptors in the skin. This, in turn, releases Oxytocin, a hormone which produces excellent effects on a person’s well-being and relaxation. During research, adults reported that they felt more balanced after a massage and that life did not seem so dark.
My own experience backed this up, although back in 1991 I had no knowledge or understanding of what or how the treatment was working, I had a regular massage and I did recognize that I felt better. Massage somehow diminished my feelings of an empty space and connected me with the rest of my body – brought me back into the real world.
It was not until
1994 when I completed my ITEC Massage training that I learned all the benefits of massage.
- This article was written to reassure you that the grief and raw emotions that you are feeling are real.
Many people who come to me suffering often apologize, they say “oh I know its silly to be so upset so long after it happened”, or they feel that their friends and family are “fed up” with hearing and seeing them so upset. I too have suffered, I understand what you are saying and feeling and I would like to use massage to help.
Massage has a way of bringing balance back into your life.
If you would like to discuss your feelings and how I think a massage can help you, please do give me a call.